A Primal Birth Story

Five weeks ago today was a most special day in our home. Really the entire week was special. Our home was full of food and family; laughs and games; music and silence. The stage was set for a most special event: the birth of my granddaughter. My daughter, Lee Anne, was about to become a mother.

Labor had begun on Monday morning but faded in and out in strength for two days. Baby was slowly making way and resting a bit; making way and resting. By Wednesday morning, her contractions and other signs made it clear that baby was ready to make his or her way into the world. I called her father and my two adult children to let them know that birth was certainly impending and that they should come to the house whenever they could. I notified other family members, by phone and email, that the time had come and we’d be unavailable until after the birth.

It was a beautiful, typically warm Florida day. We ate, played games, were entertained by my son’s piano skills and had a great time as a family. Outsiders thought it seemed more like a holiday than a birth. That’s ok. That’s how we like birth in this house. We had a nice family dinner of vegan chili. The rest of us were chatting and cleaning the kitchen while Lee Anne decided to take a nap. She knew that this was the time to get rest as later there would be none. So she went off to her candlelit room and fell asleep listening to Celtic music.

At approximately 7:30pm, I was called into her room, “Lee Anne needs you.” I crawled up in the bed with her and held her. The pain came suddenly and surprised her. A bit of panic swept over her, “Mommy! There’s no warning!”

Quietly I said, “That’s okay.”

She continued, “No! No! There was no building up of the contraction.. No warning!”

“I know sweetie, it’s okay. That’s transitional labor. From now on they’ll be that way.”

Until this moment, Lee Anne had handled contractions with closed eyes, not really letting on that there was any pain at all. She knows this is “the way” and that relaxation is the key. She trusted her body and her baby to perform this very natural process. The intensity of a transitional contractions surprised her for a moment but now that she knew, she was again empowered to “let go” and let the baby do his or her job.

I left the room to make a couple of phone calls. Time to call the photographer back to location. Time to notify the midwife of what had been going on all day. It was time. Lee Anne had made a decision not to notify the midwife until necessary. We reasoned that we should call now rather than wait until the midwife was in bed. We knew that birth was imminent.

Midwife Debbie arrived at 10pm and called the birth assistant and family friend, Jessica. We had the midwife check her. This girl had progressed to 7cm dilation unassisted! I was very proud at this moment. My daughter had truly learned the ways of birth!

Lee Anne was brave and strong. She met each pang of labor with a quiet serenity that only a mother understanding the ways of birth could do. It was a truly amazing, inspiring thing to watch in my own child. The pain did not overwhelm her. There were no cries, no tears, no tense body. She embraced it with love, knowing that this brings forth the life within her. This was beauty, not pain. This is the way the night continued.

Suddenly at about 1am, there was true pain. An intensity on her face and panic in her voice let us know the end was near. There were cries of pain. She was told to let it go, cry, get it out. She hurt for a while. She went with the emotion. She cried and moaned. The pain in her voice drove me to tears. I had to leave the room. My son left the house. We simply couldn’t bear the thought that she was in so much pain! Eventually, she returned to her place of serenity where she, her baby, and her body worked as one. A little release--and all was well again.

At 4am, surrounded by all who loved her, she gave birth to a beautiful baby. She took her baby in her arms and cried. We were so overjoyed that we forgot to check for the sex for a few minutes! When that child was placed into her arms, the look on her face was indescribable... A mixture of pain and joy; disbelief and tears. She had done it! She had brought this baby to this place. It was long and hard and she had done it! Autumn Rose was here in her arms now.

There are probably not enough words to describe this night to another human. In this family, we practice Primal Mothering. It is mothering based on what nature dictates and women have always done since the beginning of mankind. This includes birthing at home assisted by women, including one’s mother and sisters if possible. This night was truly special. My daughter was about to have her first child, surrounded by the familiar faces.. The midwife and assistant who attended her own sister’s birth, her siblings, her father and mother. My children attended each other’s births and now they were gathered together attending the birth of their first niece or nephew. Nothing could be more primal, natural, peaceful or loving. Our family is truly blessed. I am blessed to have these beautiful people in my life.

*A note about another daughter:
My eldest daughter is a natural Doula. She’s not a doula by profession. However, when I was in labor with 4th child, Amy (my eldest child), was my sole comfort and company for most of the 12 hours. She was amazingly positive and comforting. She seemed to know exactly what to say and do.. At the tender age of 12. It’s been 10 years since that happened. It was not planned that she be there with that on her shoulders. But I have, for 10 years, never forgotten what she did when I was alone and scared.

On this night 5 weeks ago, she stepped in and became her sister’s comfort and security. She was encouraging and positive. She is a natural. This is the 2nd baby in 10 years she has helped a woman bring into the world and she’s only 22. She makes me proud in so many ways and this is one of them. She has a natural talent that is undeniable.. The ability to bring peace to a laboring woman. This is a most important talent in our world.

*Note*
The above photo is my personal property. That is my daughter in labor. No permission is given to use that photo in any way, shape or form. Thank you for your respect.